Weigh-In Wednesday: Lost in a Song

Last week I wrote about a personal regret and found comfort in my friend’s comments on the blog and in talking with them in person. Hearing other people’s perspectives and stories really helped me to realize I am not alone in my struggles – whether in weight loss, heart break, or in running my own business. Forgiving others is easy for me… half the time I don’t remember why someone wronged me and am happy to move forward. Forgiving myself of my shortcomings is a very different story. When I know I have failed at something (this time a relationship) it’s hard for me to just walk away. I want to give my best self to another person, to a situation, and to myself. When I know I have hurt someone, it pains me very deeply.

The song Arms by Christina Perri speaks to me in a way I can’t explain. I heard it for the first time in Yoga a few months ago and found myself weeping during the song. I had no idea I was even crying. I heard this song and felt his name just waft through my mind. Sometimes it is easier to never let someone in to see the truth… I hope you will see right through my walls… I believe it is easier for you to let me go…

If you know me, you know I might be sad and have regret, but I also get back up. I have this inner fighter that I just can’t explain. I sometimes have some really dark thoughts but I have this inner being that every morning says – I love you even if no one else does. I’ve always been told you have to love yourself for others too. So where I might not like all of my decisions or some of the stupid stuff that comes out of my mouth, I still love who I am. I strive every day to be a better person. Some days I am successful, other days – oy vey. One thing I know, is I get better every day.

I have found myself out on the hiking trails a lot this week losing myself in my surroundings, hearing the pounding of my heart, and the ache in my legs as I go straight up a mountain. I find true peace when I am out looking at all of Mother Nature’s beauty. It is the best depression pill a doctor can prescribe!

Weight Loss

Loss: .05 lb

What I Did Right This Week:

• Eating whole foods and trying to make healthy choices for every meal.
• Made a super yummy butternut squash soup! Wow, was it amazing!
• Eating lean proteins such as chicken & turkey
• Went on an 10-mile & 4-mile training walk
• Hiked 3x and tried out some new trails
• Drank a lot of water
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Drank wine during the week – but it was red wine, so all is forgiven  
• Forgot to eat a few times – so busy and can’t seem to remember these days
• Still getting sick every time I eat, not sure why – makes me not want to eat at all

Goals For This Week:

• Strength training & running at the gym 2 days
• Do a 16-mile and 14-mile training walk this weekend
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 2x, walk 30 miles, hike 2x, golf 1x
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month:

• Try to hike 3x mornings a week << I’ve actually been hiking at night during the week, but would love to try to get a morning hike in too.
• Only drink on the weekends or for special reviews – whoops.
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day. << I’ve been doing this!!

My intention for last week was to Love. I challenged everyone to tell someone what you felt for them. Smile at a stranger. Remember your humanity. Love yourself. << Did you do it? I did. I told my dad I loved him, I made sure my good friends knew I was always there for them, and I smiled at A LOT of strangers! I always wonder what they think when I do that.

My intention for this week is to Concentrate on my Business & Eating Well While on the Road. I don’t have anyone to rely on in this world but me. I have a huge conference coming up next week and have to make sure I take full advantage of this investment –  both for my company and my clients. I am working on some amazing things to ring out the rest of this year and writing my goals down for next year. I am also going to be traveling for a week and want to make sure I don’t eat extra calories and get my workouts in. I did this at BlogHer, and I am sure I can do the same thing at BlogWorld with a little preplanning! Bring on Los Angeles already! It will be good to go back to my old stomping grounds. I’m ready.

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BlingBlingPoochies.com

With Fashion Week closing and the weather finally starting to cool off, my outerwear bug was starting to bite again. Since my tastes never lean toward the couture, but to what I *think* looks stylish… put me in a shop and I’ll inevitably pick out the most expensive thing without looking at a single price tag. I struggle these days to satiate my desires with affordable items. And, of course, you all know I love my furry friends. So, when I discovered there was an affordable source for cute dog clothes that was easy to shop online, I was pretty excited.

BlingBlingPoochies.com hits it right on the mark! Without breaking my bank, I can deck out my doggies in designer-inspired duds. And, we’re talking designs after Louis Vuitton, Juicy Couture, Ed Hardy, Chanel, and more. They sell reasonably priced couture-inspired dog clothes, along with higher quality accessories, such as carriers, leashes, and collars. There is also a selection of other items, like shoes, placemats, scarves, necklaces, and more. It’s basically all the bling I could ever wish for my pup in one place.

Now Lilly (our fantastic model) can wear her own velour jumpsuit with Juicy emblazoned on her tail. It even has a doggie-specific catchphrase embroidered into the emblem. Complete with toggled drawstrings on the hood and waist, this little running suit will keep my barker warm during the morning jog. There’s a classic Vuitton faux fur-trimmed coat with gold monogrammed snaps for the wagging fashionista in my life. There’s also an Ed Hardy inspired jacket with sporty ribbed trim that would be great on a mini Dobie that I know… she’d look tough and sweet all at the same time. All of these sell for about $24-$30, so how can I go wrong?

Most of the coats are lined with polar fleece, so they seem pretty comfortable. Even though the fabrics and construction on some of these are comparable to the price point, the overall design and style is too much fun for the buck. Take the Vuitton ruffled dress in monogrammed denim and pink twill that rocks a gold rhinestone VL pin, for example. Despite the cheaply serged hem treatments, this outfit is too cute to pass up for $25.99. I will say, however, that the Chanel t-shirt is a little too simple for my taste, since the screenprinting doesn’t live up to my expectations. But, stick to the more constructed outfits and you should be pleased. Sizes seem to run on the small side. 

A little fleece, a little frock, a little bling… BlingBlingPoochies.com provides that. Good selection and good prices equals serious fun! Follow them on Twitter too: @BlingBlingPooch

Disclosure: I was provided with sponsorship to BlogHer and BlogWorld in exchange for this review. Any consequent obsession with fitting my family’s pooches in designer-inspired duds or how much I adore the girls from BlingBlingPoochies.com had no bearing on this review. All opinions are my own as is the gratitude I have for the sponsorship on my blog so I may attend some amazing conferences.

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Weigh-in Wednesday: Regret

Life has been racing by at breakneck speeds and does not look like it is going to slow down any time soon. My business is booming and blossoming at a rate that I didn’t know was possible. Sometimes I receive more phone calls than I can possible return in a day… I feel all the hard work I have spent over the last two years is finally coming to fruition. I’m teaching again, and I really love this part of my business. Seeing small business owners utilize social media tools that I have taught them has been very rewarding. Seeing people start to tweet with my clients, make me a proud mama in a way. Need to give a special Thank You to my business coach Lynda Bishop (@CoachLynda) with Summit Alliance Solutions for helping me to attain my goals and keep me moving forward even when I get knocked down. She is an awesome woman to have in your corner, I am definitely blessed.

With all this success, I have some personal regret. I finally pulled my head out of the sand and saw that I hadn’t treated the man I have been dating the way I wanted to treat him, the way he deserved to be treated. This in turn pushed him away. I hurt his feelings unintentionally and lost the trust he placed in me. I will tell you from the perspective of an overweight person, you really get to see someone’s true colors. When you are overweight and single, most people see the weight first, then the person. It hurts, I won’t lie. He never did that – he saw me for me. I think I was so scared for someone to get that close to me again that I unconsciously pushed him away, built the wall higher around my heart, and then wondered why I was alone. I was wrong. Admitting I was wrong was even harder. Asking for forgiveness and another chance was difficult, but I did it. He’s not ready to forgive, and I have to respect that.

Admitting your mistakes and recognizing that your words or actions hurt someone else (intentionally or not) is a sign of emotional maturity. Living with the regret is a much harder task to master. ~My Facebook Status.

Taking care of my emotional and physical well being has been a high priority lately. Acknowledging my regret and sadness allows me to start to understand why I self-sabotage and forgive myself. Forgiving yourself when you know you are wrong is crazy hard to do. I am really hard on myself and have high expectations for the kind of woman I want to be. I’m definitely a work in progress. I’m far from perfect, I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of stupid mistakes.

Weight Loss

Loss: 1 lb

What I Did Right This Week:

• Eating whole foods and trying to make healthy choices for every meal.
• Ate every veggie & fruit in my kitchen! Nothing spoiled this time!
• Eating lean proteins such as chicken & turkey
• Went on an 10-mile & 4-mile training walk
• Drank a lot of water
• Made my green shake 2x
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Had a Pepsi at the movie theatre. I find I only want the first few sips and then can throw it away. That is awesome progress.
• Drank way too much tequila and had so many yummy tacos at the AZ Taco Festival– but really, is that so bad?
• Didn’t make it to the gym or hiking or yoga. Sigh. I know.

Goals For This Week:

• Strength training & running at the gym 3 days
• Do a 16-mile and 11-mile training walk this weekend
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 2x, walk 30 miles, yoga 2x, hike 2x, golf 1x
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month:

• Try to hike 3x mornings a week << this hasn’t happened yet
• Only drink on the weekends or for special reviews – been doing well with this one.
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day. << I’ve been doing this!!

My intention for last week was to find Calmness. I found this for a few days. Even one of my friends noticed it and said I seemed happier with who I was than I had been in the spring when I had all that personal turmoil. This last relationship really had helped me to grow and not worry all the time. I finally found some of that peace that had been so elusive to me. I found my confidence which helped me feel centered and in balance. I have to promise myself not to let those feelings disappear and to continue learning how to be a better person, a better me.

My intention for this week is to Love. I don’t know about you, but I don’t always tell friends and family what they mean to me. I want to stop that habit. I don’t want people to ever doubt what I feel about them. I might not agree or see someone’s point of view, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them. I challenge you to tell someone what you feel for them. Smile at a stranger. Remember your humanity. Love yourself.

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Weigh-In Wednesday: Lost 6 lbs!

If you didn’t read last week’s blog on being Toxic, you might want to before proceeding. A few days ago, I started on the prescription water pill and took Milk Thistle supplements to help my liver function properly. I dropped a little over 3 lbs in 24 hours and 5 lbs in 48. Six days later, I am 6 lbs lighter. Most of my brain fog has lifted and I able to think again. It has been awesome to be able to put sentences together and not to forget simple things like putting shoes on before leaving the house. And yes, I actually did that. What was so difficult about the brain fog was not being able to remember things off the top of my head. If I didn’t have things written down and in my calendar then I would have been in a world of hurt. Finally was able to secure HSA Insurance and now ready to go in and have all the lab work done. Not looking forward to that though. Is it better knowing?? I’m a worrier by nature… so I don’t know honestly. Then I just found out that the deductible starts over again on Jan 1st – what kind of crock is that? So I am supposed to shell out almost a $1k now for tests and then it resets in 2.5 months? And people say there is nothing wrong with health insurance in this country. Sorry, that’s a rant for another time… it makes me so angry and irritable just thinking about it.

I’ve stepped up my training for the Breast Cancer 3-Day too – I’ve made it a habit to walk both Saturday and Sunday mornings at the crack of dawn. I love walking that early and seeing nature stir and come alive. It just severely hampers my social life though! I need to be in bed by 10pm to get up by 5am or I will need several naps throughout the day which I normally don’t have time for. This Saturday will be an all out marathon… Walking 16 miles, then off to eat a tremendous about of tacos at the Taco Festival, and topping the night off with a Housewarming Party for a friend. Sunday morning sure is going to come early!! I will have to walk, hit the gym, AND go for a hike to burn off all those tequila and taco calories. So worth it though!

When I am overly emotional I have a tendency to go to the nursery and come home with a lot of plants. Planting gardens is my retail therapy! It had been awhile since I had done this, but I am so happy that I did. Every day, I open my door wide and enjoy watching my flowers upon up to the sun’s rays and my veggies take root in organic soil. This soothes me like nothing else can. It is my peace, my sanctuary. Now to just find a little bistro table…

I really appreciate everyone who reached out after last week’s blog. Your comments and words of encouragement mean so much to me. Sometimes it feels like I am sitting in this abyss that no one understands and am totally alone. It is refreshing to know that some people are only a tweet, a text, a phone call, or a hug away. Thank you.

Weight Loss

Loss: 6 lbs!!

What I Did Right This Week:

• Still doing the no soda thing, but did have one today to try to push my irritable mood away.
• Ate fresh fruits & veggies – including 2 cups of spinach per day, apples, blueberries, green beans, and Brussels sprouts << can’t believe I eat 2 cups of spinach *every* day
• Eating lean proteins such as chicken & turkey
• Went on an 10-mile & 4-mile training walk
• Went hiking 2x
• Drank a lot of water
• Made my green shake 4x
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Didn’t cook as much. Made a big pot of Ground Turkey Chili that lasted awhile and other leftovers.
• Didn’t take as much time for me this week
• Had a few pieces of taffy. I love taffy.
• Didn’t make it to the gym

Goals For This Week:

• Strength training & running at the gym 3 days
• Do a 16-mile and 11-mile training walk this weekend
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 2x, walk 30 miles, yoga 2x, hike 2x, golf 1x
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month:

• Try to hike 3x mornings a week << this hasn’t happened yet
• Only drink on the weekends or for special reviews – been doing well with this one.
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day. << I’ve been doing this!!

My intention for last week was to get Answers. I don’t have any answers today. I’m feeling better, but would love to know what is wrong. I have had similar severe weight gains in the past and have taken tests and everything comes back normal. But this is getting ridiculous – it is far from normal.

My intention for this week is to find Calmness. Through all that the next week is going to bring with me teaching Lunch & Learn class on Social Media, to walking 16 miles, to just being me – I need to remember to focus on being calm. Breathing. Meditating. Allowing peace and joy to find me.

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Social Media 101 & Blogging 101

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Weigh-In Wednesday: 21 lbs & Toxic

Where do I even start? Let’s start with a vent, shall we. When anyone hears I am trying to lose weight, or my favorite, when they just look at me, and then proceed to give me unsolicited weight loss advice. If I were to listen to what everyone says, I would be dairy-free, gluten-free, soy-free, fruit-free, wine-free, Pepsi-free, and a vegan who could eat exactly 1 leaf of spinach. Seriously people. Have you noticed that everyone, and I mean everyone, has an opinion as to why people are overweight? For me personally, it’s like I am constantly having to discuss what I eat, how much I exercise, and then have to say – No, I haven’t lost weight, I’ve actually gained. Oh, that must be muscle then. ARGH. No, I am not gaining muscle – can’t you see the sheer amount of fluid in my face, or how swollen my ankles are, even my arms are completely swollen all of the time.

This past Sunday, my massage therapist of over 10 years came over to give me a massage. As she started working on my back, she asked how much weight I had gained. She then said she could tell immediately something was wrong with me because she could physically push liquid up my back underneath my skin. Kind of gross actually. Then I saw my ex-husband on Tuesday and he asked right away what was wrong with me too. One good thing about writing Weigh-In Wednesday, is that I can go back and see how much I have weighed over the last year. I was astonished when I did the math… I have gained 21 pounds over the last couple of months. That is not normal.

When you look at all I have done over the last few months, gaining 21 pounds seems just out right crazy. I did a 40-day yoga challenge, training for the Breast Cancer 3-Day, hiking and going to the gym a few times a week, stopped drinking soda for 30 days, and also limited my alcohol intake. I’m eating healthy, I’m exercising 3-5x a week, I’m not an overeater, and am gaining weight. Frustrated, scared, freaked out are just a few of the adjectives going on in my mind.

Decided to go see a naturopath and see if she had any ideas as to what was going on with me. It’s not good when the moment she saw me she said I looked awful. According to her scale, I had gained 31 pounds since Jan 1st. OMG. OMG. OMG. I told her all that I have been doing right and wrong, my allergies to soy and now how spicy food is making me break out in hives. She wonders if I might be toxic. What the hell does that mean? Basically, there is something in my environment or that I am ingesting that I am allergic too and my liver is having a hard time processing it. And no it’s not gluten. The other possibility is that my liver or kidneys aren’t working correctly.

When I came home last night all I could hear over and over in my head is – You Are Toxic. Toxic! I am starting a detox program for a week and going back on a water pill to try and release some of this water weight. I’m honestly worried.

Weight Loss

Gained: .05 lbs

What I Did Right This Week:

• Still doing the no soda thing, but did have a sip over the weekend.
• Ate fresh fruits & veggies – including 2 cups of spinach per day, apples, blueberries, green beans, and Brussels sprouts
• Eating lean proteins such as chicken & turkey
• Worked out at the gym 2x
• Went on an 6-mile & 4-mile training walk, ran 1 mile
• Went hiking 2x
• Did at-home yoga
• Drank a lot of water
• Made my green shake 4x
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Had a slice of pizza
• Had a half of a cookie
• Weird, can’t think of anything else

Goals For This Week:

• Strength training & running at the gym 3 days
• Do a 17-mile and 11-mile training walk this weekend
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 3x, walk 30 miles, yoga 2x, hike 2x, golf 1x
• Keep my house clean
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month: (this is new!)

• Try to hike 3x mornings a week
• Only drink on the weekends or for special reviews – been doing well with this one.
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day.

My intention for last week was Goals. I didn’t do this one, so I am going to list it again: I need to write out my 4th quarter personal and business goals and create the path to achieve them. One of my personal goals is to lose 30 pounds before Christmas. I hope this happens, even though I am aware that it hasn’t happened yet. Another goal is to hike every week in a new location experiencing all that Arizona’s wildlife has to offer. Professionally, I want to increase my speaking engagements to at least twice a month. I am writing these goals down. I will accomplish them!

My intention for this week is to get Answers. I need answers. I’m not sure if I can get them in one week, but I sure would like them. Not just health answers, but answers to a few lingering issues I have. Let’s see if I can figure some stuff out.

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