Weigh-in Wednesday: Screw You Food Allergies

Do you have any food allergies? I can’t imagine living a life where you are scared to eat… and that is just what has happened. Now I know my food allergies are not as severe as some of my friends. My dear friend @KenScheer has some serious crazy allergies. He just found out he has to be gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, corn-free, nut-free and is allergic to a handful of vegetables and fruits. I commend him on trying to learn to deal with this and then inspire others to do the same. What I do know is that it is very hard to go places and have to ask if they have things that you can eat. I know I feel weird about asking and sometimes wonder will my friends and family be supportive or will they give me a hard time about it. Well, both has happened.

Out with some great friends – Jackie, Merlin, & Ken

I have gotten into the habit of reading every label – every single one. Did you know that all canned soups, most crackers, some spices, frozen sweet potatoes, protein bars, and chocolate (this made me so sad) has soy, soy lecithin, or soybean oil in it. Sigh. It has been very tough. What’s been good though, is that it just means I have to make more things from scratch, which I love to do. I just wish I had a bigger kitchen and fridge to hold all the things I need to actually make things from scratch! My allergies to jalapenos and spice has just gotten worse. Even too much garlic in a dish is making my mouth go on fire. And yes, everyone gives me crap about it. I wish I could handle the heat, but sometimes I have to hold back the tears. I also really don’t want the hives that jalapenos bring either.

Coming into the Holidays I actually have anxiety over going to parties and even going to my family’s gatherings. How do you ask the host how they made their food? Luckily I know which food from Costco has soy in it so if they have any of that out, I can make an informed decision. Last week when I was visiting my family I told them about what’s been going on with me and asked what, if anything, I will be able to eat on Christmas Eve. I was told that if I wanted something other than tamales (way too many jalapenos), taquitos (soy), or kid’s chicken fingers (soy) than I needed to bring my own food. Sadly, I have had to bring my own meal for as long as I can remember because I have never been able to handle the heat of the tamales. I didn’t realize how much it would mean for me for someone to say – no worries, we will make you something you can eat.

Because I am not used to people going out of their way to change for me, I have been stunned when my friends have done it. One friend bought special cooking oil (he had been using soybean oil) and looked at everything in his pantry to make sure I was safe eating there (even goes through my pantry too and takes things out I can’t have!). I was at @aclevergirl’s on Sunday and ended up staying for dinner. She checked every label and even the spices to make sure they were safe for me. I was a tad dumbfounded that she went through the trouble. I’m just not used to that.

Weight Loss

Loss: 1 pound

What I Did Right This Week:

• Eating 2 apples a day – they are great for the body
• Eating lots of Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and butternut squash
• Went running for 1st time in awhile – but my pants kept falling down!
• Laughed every day
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Broke down and went to McDonald’s and had a quarter pounder
• Did not eat enough spinach
• Still Drinking my calories – pumpkin vanilla chai you are my weakness
• Didn’t do nearly as much working out as I wanted to

Goals For This Week:

• Eat 2 apples, cup a spinach, & a lemon every day
• Start to train for a 5k. Run 3x a week.
• Go hiking and see some nature!
• Run 3x, hike 1x, Golf 1x, Gym 2x
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month:

• Get a work out in on any day I have an event or a Holiday party
• Stay motivated and see myself the way I want to be, and then let it happen.
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day & 2 apples every day

My intention for last week was Start Again. As I have been getting soy out of my life I can actually feel my mind becoming clear too – the haze has started to life. It’s also been pretty cool getting ready to tackle some 5Ks that are coming up in 6 weeks. I would like to do a 5k every month of 2012 – is that just crazy talk?

My intention for this week is to Plug Ahead. I am working on my goal setting for both my business and my personal life and am just a machine on the laptop lately. I want to be able to keep plugging away at all of this stuff, but also to plug away at my fitness goals. Doing one small thing every day, changing daily behaviors that will change long engrained behaviors. I want to plug ahead into this better, more in tuned world that is just waiting for me.

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Weigh-in Wednesday: Save the Boobs, but Soy-Free!

It’s been 3 weeks since I have written my blog. I’ve thought about writing every day, but for some reason, I just couldn’t. A lot has happened in 3 weeks and there will be some break out blog posts that go into more detail. First off though, I want to introduce you to Heather whom I met on the rooftop of one of BlogWorld’s parties. You know when you meet someone and you instantly feel connected to them? Well, that happened to us. Kismet really. She wrote her 1st weight loss blog post and I am so proud of her for taking that first, and very hard to face, step.

Three weeks ago was also the Breast Cancer 3 Day, it was also when I realized just how toxic my body has become. I have struggled with having a soy allergy and thought it was just when I ingested a large amount of it. This is so not the case. On the 1st day of the Walk at the 1st Pit Stop, I ate peanut butter then thought – oh I should look at the label. But really, who would think that peanut butter would have soy in it? It does. So did the peanut butter and jelly graham crackers they had for us and they Doritos they wanted us to eat to keep our sodium level up. So within the first 2 hours of the Walk, I ingested enough soy to make me extremely sick for the entire day. That day we walked 25 miles – by far, the farthest I have ever walked. On Day 2 I had friends bring me snacks along the way so I was good and even had @aclevergirl bring me @justchrisbyrd’s yummy bbq to eat at night because I wasn’t allowed to eat the food at camp.

The Awesome Team Booblicious!

The morning of Day 3 I ate eggs at breakfast, who would have thought they had been cooked using soybean oil? I was sick up and down Scottsdale Rd (funny if you know my love for Scottsdale). While on the side of the road sick as a dog, a couple medical personnel were driving by and picked me up and took me to Medical at lunch. I was given anti-nausea meds and Benadryl and put under a Mylar blanket where my blood pressure was out of control and my heart rate was racing (medics loved that I was already wearing a heart rate monitor). They were close to pushing an IV in and taking me to the hospital – so I mustered up my best – I’m-feeling-great-face and promised to sweep all the way to Closing Ceremonies if they would release me. Since my BP & HR were down they let me go. I walked 1.5 miles and decided to jump on a sweep van. All the sweep vans were notified of my status and I was under a careful watch. While on this van, a woman got on that reeked of BenGay – mind you, I am super sensitive to smells. My face went white and I had a hard time breathing – the van driver saw this and pulled right over where I got sick again. Sigh. I was a mess. I recuperated enough at the next Pit Stop and walked the last 2 miles into closing ceremonies with my amazing team.

Medical Crew that picked me up & put me back together again.

I was sad that I only walked 48 out of 60 miles, but sometimes you can only do what you can do. I have raised $17k in 3 years and have raised a lot of awareness for Breast Cancer. I am proud of what I have accomplished. I do this so we won’t hear of another woman being told she has breast cancer. I’m sad to report that just two days ago, one of my aunts told me she was diagnosed with Stage 1 Breast Cancer. It is treatable, she will fight this, and I will continue to raise money for this horrible disease.

Over the Thanksgiving Holiday I made all of my yummy favorites. Did you see the recipes I posted? Most importantly though I de-soyed my house. Soy is in everything. It’s ridiculous. I gave away 3 full bags of groceries that had soy in them. I now let restaurants know of my allergy so they can ask the chef what I need to avoid. I was stunned when I went to Eegee’s in Tucson (a sandwich shop) and the Manager called his corporate office to ask what was soy-free. Now that’s great customer service when I least expected it. I am still struggling with how much this has affected me lately – both mentally and physically. I will continue to work on it until it no longer has power over me.

When I came home from the 3-Day, I weighed in and had gained over 10 pounds in 3 days!! I was so swollen. Crazy enough, for the 1st time ever I had night sweats and got up to pee over 5x that night and lost almost 11 pounds in 1 night!! Sure wish I could do that every day. Right now, I am just trying to cleanse my body of all the soy and hope that I will soon start to see that reflected on the scale. Oh, and I am training for my 1st 5k in January!!

Weight Loss

Gain: 2.4 pounds. Not bad over 3 weeks with Thanksgiving and the 3-Day in there.

What I Did Right This Week:

• Eating 2 apples a day – they are great for the body
• Bought some great vegetables that will make some good meals
• Made turkey chili
• Went to the driving range – 1st exercise on my tired feet after my blisters healed from the 3 Day
• Laughed every day
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Found my love of soda. Sigh. Going back to only 1 a week. This is so hard.
• Can’t say no to dessert – damn you chocolate
• Drinking my calories – pumpkin vanilla chai you are my weakness
• Haven’t worked out because of all of my blisters. They are healed, so watch out.
• Didn’t work out or walk at all

Goals For This Week:

• Start to train for a 5k. Run 3x a week.
• Go hiking and see some nature!
• Run 3x, hike 1x, Golf 1x, Gym 2x
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month:

• Get a work out in on any day I have an event or a Holiday party
• Stay motivated and see myself the way I want to be, and then let it happen.
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day & 2 apples every day

My intention for last week was Survive. I might have survived, but it was really tough. I’ve decided not to walk next year, but rather to be on Crew. One thing that really helped me to survive was the generosity of my friends – whether it was a tweet, a Facebook message, a text or phone call, or showing up with food and a hug. I appreciate you all more than you will ever know. Thank you!!

My intention for this week is to Start Again. I feel like I have pushed the Restart Button and it is time to begin again. Now that I know I have a food allergy, let’s see what my body does without constantly being injected with poison. I sure hope that is the missing key that I have been looking for. I’m excited to try running – most of you know – that I absolutely hate running, so this should be interesting to see. Let me know if you want to join me virtually or IRL and help me push the Restart Button!

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Weigh-in Wednesday: Just Walk

In case you are wondering, yes still a tad on the sick side, but getting better every day. I started BlogWorld Los Angeles hyped up on a lot of meds and was just praying that I would even remember the trip. Boy do I remember it! Can I just say WOW. My second BlogWorld and the second time my mind has been blown. Everything from the amazing speakers, to meeting my Twitter and Blogging Idols (like @ProBlogger, @Bookieboo, TheJenATX & @PeterShankman) to the closing keynote with crazy tech jokes from @NotAProBlogger. By far the best part of the entire conference was meeting people in the halls, at lunch, or at the Sheraton lounge. I allowed myself to be open and really be present every time I met a new person. One such person was @TheBeanCast who has an amazing podcast (I just subscribed!). I was humbled when he sent me this tweet:

Enjoyed meeting @dragonflytweet .. Smart lady who knows how to be transparent and genuine w/o being egotistical. I have much to learn. ~TheBeanCast 

Now I *tried* to eat healthy but it was damn near impossible. The only place during the conference to eat at was at the Staples Convention Center food courts. They seriously need to revamp their food offerings and realize just because you offer a salad doesn’t mean you are offering good-tasting nutritious food. By far my favorite meal was at Ford’s reception at @OmniHotels where they had a Risotto Bar. You read that right – a Risotto Bar!! I was there with @skinnyjeans and it was so freaking amazing that we each had two servings. (I don’t know if I was supposed to admit that!) I seriously wanted to put the risotto maker in my pocket and take her home to make me more of those yummy creations, but I refrained.

I *Love* this Picture with Kelly, aka @childhood

Why yes I did have to crop this one

Now that I had all this fun and learned invaluable things for my business, I am in a mad dash to prep for the Breast Cancer 3-Day – which is this weekend!! OMG, this one crept up on me. I do not feel ready in the slightest – I haven’t trained enough, my body is still retaining water like crazy, I don’t have all my gear and let’s not even talk about packing. One thing that makes this weekend crazy amazing is when friends and family come out and be Walker Stalkers or hang out in the Cheering Stations. Want to come out and cheer on #TeamBooblicious? Here is the link to all the cheering stations: Spectator Information I will be tweeting under our team hashtag #TeamBooblicious and #the3day if you want to follow along on Twitter.

Weight Loss

Loss: 0 pounds – I’m ok with this, surprised actually.

What I Did Right This Week:

• Drank yummy OJ and lots of herbal teas
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• I didn’t do much right this week – I ate fast food while on the road, I ate crappy convention food, I didn’t drink enough water, and drank a tad too much wine. Sigh.
• Didn’t work out or walk at all

Goals For This Week:

• To walk as much as I can at the 3-Day, then not feel ashamed to get on one of the sweep vans.
• Walk 60 miles in 3 days!!! You try it – it’s hard!
• Be in the moment when all weekend
• Try not to die from exhaustion
• Walk 60 miles, hike 1x next week
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month:

• Try to hike 3x mornings a week << still hasn’t happened yet.
• Only drink on the weekends or for special reviews << limiting myself to 1 drink while at BlogWorld << I actually just laughed rereading this goal from last week
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day. << Wasn’t able to do this

My intention for last week was Get Better. I am a little better but not so much better that I feel ready to walk in rain for 3 days. That’s right – it’s supposed to rain buckets this weekend. Sure hope someone is going to make a campfire for me to get warm at. Bringing me hot totties while on the walk will earn you lots of brown points from me. Just saying. Or Bailey’s Hot Cocoa, I’m not picky here.

My intention for this week is to Survive. I want to survive not only the grueling physical  aspect of the walk, but also the toll it takes on me mentally. Hearing everyone’s stories as to why they walk, and knowing my own personal reasons, this walk really affects me tremendously. I’m not going to lie, I need emotional support to get through it. When you are single and alone you have to find that strength within. I also had to open up and ask my friends for help. I’m not good at doing that at all. Not one bit. When I imagined experiencing this walk, I always saw a certain person by my side, supporting and encouraging me. Well, sometimes things don’t work out the way you think they will and those dreams get shattered. And that’s ok. I’m a survivor. I’m am way stronger than most people think. And I can accomplish many great things – like kicking ass on this walk!!

I want to send a little pre-Thank You to all my friends and family for their love and support over the next few days. I know it is a lot to ask, but thank you for answering. I love my friends. They are what make me a better, stronger person.

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Weigh-in Wednesday: Sick, but Rallying!

I have now been officially sick for almost 2 weeks. It started out when I went to Happy Hour with some friends and had a margarita. The drink tasted rancid to me and I asked for a replacement – it too, tasted rancid. I drank maybe 2 swigs from it and was sick the rest of the night. After that, I have become nauseas almost every time I eat. Doesn’t matter if I eat a boil of chicken noodle soup or a pizza, my stomach is rebelling against food right now. And I am *starving* but really afraid to eat.

Then last Friday I went to Ignite Phoenix (which is awesome btw). The minute I walked into the auditorium I started having an allergic reaction to the smells in there. With over 500 people in attendance someone was bound to have perfume on. There are times when even a whiff of a perfume will send me over the edge. I ended up having to leave for a bit because of the crazy sneezing that ensued. I ended up sneezing the whole way home, and for a good hour on my couch. I took a Benadryl, my new bff lately, and hoped it would get better. Nope. Woke up to a full fledged allergy attack. When this happens it looks a lot like a severe cold, but it’s not. My throat was destroyed, my eyes were red and itching and I was completely stuffed up. I started taking a lot of meds, herbal teas, and praying that this would pass soon. Yesterday I woke up to sores on my nose that come when my body is completely pissed off at me. Sigh. I am not feeling well.

Did I mention I also left yesterday for BlogWorld in Los Angeles? The *one* conference I look forward to all year? So here I am in my hotel room, very self-conscious of how I look and feel and have to rally to go and experience this amazing week. This conference is not cheap and I put a lot of time and effort into planning on what speakers I want to hear, who I want to meet, what brands would be a good fit for me, and of course, what amazing parties I must attend. I am so upset that I am so sick and that I might miss this opportunity or will be too drugged up to remember anything.

Love this pic before the MDA event! 

Weight Loss

Loss: No idea – there is no scale in my hotel room

What I Did Right This Week:

• Made some homemade chicken noodle soup and butternut squash soup
• Drank yummy OJ and lots of herbal teas
• Drank a lot of water
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Didn’t work out or walk at all
• Forgot to eat a few times – so busy and can’t seem to remember these days

Goals For This Week:

• To breathe – really it’s the simple things right now
• Strength training & running at the gym 2 days
• Walk on the beach – not for distance, but just to do it
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 2x, hike 2x
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month:

• Try to hike 3x mornings a week << hasn’t happened at all.
• Only drink on the weekends or for special reviews << limiting myself to 1 drink while at BlogWorld
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day. << Wasn’t able to do this

My intention for last week was Concentrate on my Business & Eating Well While on the Road. I had planned on working out a lot so I could relax a little at BlogWorld. Well, with being sick I didn’t work out at all. I’m hungry all the time, but when I eat I can only stomach a few bites then I am done – wait, that might be a good thing! I am still going to try and eat healthy this week while at the conference and if I feel better, I will work out in the hotel gym.

My intention for this week is to Get Better. I feel like my body is shutting down. The last time this happened I was 25 and had severe environmental allergies. I ended up with Scarlett Fever after a month of respiratory issues, then and was on bed rest for another month. That is when I also found out I was allergic to almost every antibiotic and that I was allergic to so many environmental things. I’ve outgrown some of those, but the memory of just how sick I was will never be forgotten. I know that jalapenos and chili peppers are really upsetting me these days too, so I am steering clear of them this week.

If you believe in healing energies, I would be grateful if you could send some my way today. I sure could use them!

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Weigh-In Wednesday: Lost in a Song

Last week I wrote about a personal regret and found comfort in my friend’s comments on the blog and in talking with them in person. Hearing other people’s perspectives and stories really helped me to realize I am not alone in my struggles – whether in weight loss, heart break, or in running my own business. Forgiving others is easy for me… half the time I don’t remember why someone wronged me and am happy to move forward. Forgiving myself of my shortcomings is a very different story. When I know I have failed at something (this time a relationship) it’s hard for me to just walk away. I want to give my best self to another person, to a situation, and to myself. When I know I have hurt someone, it pains me very deeply.

The song Arms by Christina Perri speaks to me in a way I can’t explain. I heard it for the first time in Yoga a few months ago and found myself weeping during the song. I had no idea I was even crying. I heard this song and felt his name just waft through my mind. Sometimes it is easier to never let someone in to see the truth… I hope you will see right through my walls… I believe it is easier for you to let me go…

If you know me, you know I might be sad and have regret, but I also get back up. I have this inner fighter that I just can’t explain. I sometimes have some really dark thoughts but I have this inner being that every morning says – I love you even if no one else does. I’ve always been told you have to love yourself for others too. So where I might not like all of my decisions or some of the stupid stuff that comes out of my mouth, I still love who I am. I strive every day to be a better person. Some days I am successful, other days – oy vey. One thing I know, is I get better every day.

I have found myself out on the hiking trails a lot this week losing myself in my surroundings, hearing the pounding of my heart, and the ache in my legs as I go straight up a mountain. I find true peace when I am out looking at all of Mother Nature’s beauty. It is the best depression pill a doctor can prescribe!

Weight Loss

Loss: .05 lb

What I Did Right This Week:

• Eating whole foods and trying to make healthy choices for every meal.
• Made a super yummy butternut squash soup! Wow, was it amazing!
• Eating lean proteins such as chicken & turkey
• Went on an 10-mile & 4-mile training walk
• Hiked 3x and tried out some new trails
• Drank a lot of water
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Drank wine during the week – but it was red wine, so all is forgiven  
• Forgot to eat a few times – so busy and can’t seem to remember these days
• Still getting sick every time I eat, not sure why – makes me not want to eat at all

Goals For This Week:

• Strength training & running at the gym 2 days
• Do a 16-mile and 14-mile training walk this weekend
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 2x, walk 30 miles, hike 2x, golf 1x
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month:

• Try to hike 3x mornings a week << I’ve actually been hiking at night during the week, but would love to try to get a morning hike in too.
• Only drink on the weekends or for special reviews – whoops.
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day. << I’ve been doing this!!

My intention for last week was to Love. I challenged everyone to tell someone what you felt for them. Smile at a stranger. Remember your humanity. Love yourself. << Did you do it? I did. I told my dad I loved him, I made sure my good friends knew I was always there for them, and I smiled at A LOT of strangers! I always wonder what they think when I do that.

My intention for this week is to Concentrate on my Business & Eating Well While on the Road. I don’t have anyone to rely on in this world but me. I have a huge conference coming up next week and have to make sure I take full advantage of this investment –  both for my company and my clients. I am working on some amazing things to ring out the rest of this year and writing my goals down for next year. I am also going to be traveling for a week and want to make sure I don’t eat extra calories and get my workouts in. I did this at BlogHer, and I am sure I can do the same thing at BlogWorld with a little preplanning! Bring on Los Angeles already! It will be good to go back to my old stomping grounds. I’m ready.

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Weigh-in Wednesday: Regret

Life has been racing by at breakneck speeds and does not look like it is going to slow down any time soon. My business is booming and blossoming at a rate that I didn’t know was possible. Sometimes I receive more phone calls than I can possible return in a day… I feel all the hard work I have spent over the last two years is finally coming to fruition. I’m teaching again, and I really love this part of my business. Seeing small business owners utilize social media tools that I have taught them has been very rewarding. Seeing people start to tweet with my clients, make me a proud mama in a way. Need to give a special Thank You to my business coach Lynda Bishop (@CoachLynda) with Summit Alliance Solutions for helping me to attain my goals and keep me moving forward even when I get knocked down. She is an awesome woman to have in your corner, I am definitely blessed.

With all this success, I have some personal regret. I finally pulled my head out of the sand and saw that I hadn’t treated the man I have been dating the way I wanted to treat him, the way he deserved to be treated. This in turn pushed him away. I hurt his feelings unintentionally and lost the trust he placed in me. I will tell you from the perspective of an overweight person, you really get to see someone’s true colors. When you are overweight and single, most people see the weight first, then the person. It hurts, I won’t lie. He never did that – he saw me for me. I think I was so scared for someone to get that close to me again that I unconsciously pushed him away, built the wall higher around my heart, and then wondered why I was alone. I was wrong. Admitting I was wrong was even harder. Asking for forgiveness and another chance was difficult, but I did it. He’s not ready to forgive, and I have to respect that.

Admitting your mistakes and recognizing that your words or actions hurt someone else (intentionally or not) is a sign of emotional maturity. Living with the regret is a much harder task to master. ~My Facebook Status.

Taking care of my emotional and physical well being has been a high priority lately. Acknowledging my regret and sadness allows me to start to understand why I self-sabotage and forgive myself. Forgiving yourself when you know you are wrong is crazy hard to do. I am really hard on myself and have high expectations for the kind of woman I want to be. I’m definitely a work in progress. I’m far from perfect, I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of stupid mistakes.

Weight Loss

Loss: 1 lb

What I Did Right This Week:

• Eating whole foods and trying to make healthy choices for every meal.
• Ate every veggie & fruit in my kitchen! Nothing spoiled this time!
• Eating lean proteins such as chicken & turkey
• Went on an 10-mile & 4-mile training walk
• Drank a lot of water
• Made my green shake 2x
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Had a Pepsi at the movie theatre. I find I only want the first few sips and then can throw it away. That is awesome progress.
• Drank way too much tequila and had so many yummy tacos at the AZ Taco Festival– but really, is that so bad?
• Didn’t make it to the gym or hiking or yoga. Sigh. I know.

Goals For This Week:

• Strength training & running at the gym 3 days
• Do a 16-mile and 11-mile training walk this weekend
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 2x, walk 30 miles, yoga 2x, hike 2x, golf 1x
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month:

• Try to hike 3x mornings a week << this hasn’t happened yet
• Only drink on the weekends or for special reviews – been doing well with this one.
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day. << I’ve been doing this!!

My intention for last week was to find Calmness. I found this for a few days. Even one of my friends noticed it and said I seemed happier with who I was than I had been in the spring when I had all that personal turmoil. This last relationship really had helped me to grow and not worry all the time. I finally found some of that peace that had been so elusive to me. I found my confidence which helped me feel centered and in balance. I have to promise myself not to let those feelings disappear and to continue learning how to be a better person, a better me.

My intention for this week is to Love. I don’t know about you, but I don’t always tell friends and family what they mean to me. I want to stop that habit. I don’t want people to ever doubt what I feel about them. I might not agree or see someone’s point of view, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them. I challenge you to tell someone what you feel for them. Smile at a stranger. Remember your humanity. Love yourself.

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Weigh-In Wednesday: Lost 6 lbs!

If you didn’t read last week’s blog on being Toxic, you might want to before proceeding. A few days ago, I started on the prescription water pill and took Milk Thistle supplements to help my liver function properly. I dropped a little over 3 lbs in 24 hours and 5 lbs in 48. Six days later, I am 6 lbs lighter. Most of my brain fog has lifted and I able to think again. It has been awesome to be able to put sentences together and not to forget simple things like putting shoes on before leaving the house. And yes, I actually did that. What was so difficult about the brain fog was not being able to remember things off the top of my head. If I didn’t have things written down and in my calendar then I would have been in a world of hurt. Finally was able to secure HSA Insurance and now ready to go in and have all the lab work done. Not looking forward to that though. Is it better knowing?? I’m a worrier by nature… so I don’t know honestly. Then I just found out that the deductible starts over again on Jan 1st – what kind of crock is that? So I am supposed to shell out almost a $1k now for tests and then it resets in 2.5 months? And people say there is nothing wrong with health insurance in this country. Sorry, that’s a rant for another time… it makes me so angry and irritable just thinking about it.

I’ve stepped up my training for the Breast Cancer 3-Day too – I’ve made it a habit to walk both Saturday and Sunday mornings at the crack of dawn. I love walking that early and seeing nature stir and come alive. It just severely hampers my social life though! I need to be in bed by 10pm to get up by 5am or I will need several naps throughout the day which I normally don’t have time for. This Saturday will be an all out marathon… Walking 16 miles, then off to eat a tremendous about of tacos at the Taco Festival, and topping the night off with a Housewarming Party for a friend. Sunday morning sure is going to come early!! I will have to walk, hit the gym, AND go for a hike to burn off all those tequila and taco calories. So worth it though!

When I am overly emotional I have a tendency to go to the nursery and come home with a lot of plants. Planting gardens is my retail therapy! It had been awhile since I had done this, but I am so happy that I did. Every day, I open my door wide and enjoy watching my flowers upon up to the sun’s rays and my veggies take root in organic soil. This soothes me like nothing else can. It is my peace, my sanctuary. Now to just find a little bistro table…

I really appreciate everyone who reached out after last week’s blog. Your comments and words of encouragement mean so much to me. Sometimes it feels like I am sitting in this abyss that no one understands and am totally alone. It is refreshing to know that some people are only a tweet, a text, a phone call, or a hug away. Thank you.

Weight Loss

Loss: 6 lbs!!

What I Did Right This Week:

• Still doing the no soda thing, but did have one today to try to push my irritable mood away.
• Ate fresh fruits & veggies – including 2 cups of spinach per day, apples, blueberries, green beans, and Brussels sprouts << can’t believe I eat 2 cups of spinach *every* day
• Eating lean proteins such as chicken & turkey
• Went on an 10-mile & 4-mile training walk
• Went hiking 2x
• Drank a lot of water
• Made my green shake 4x
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Didn’t cook as much. Made a big pot of Ground Turkey Chili that lasted awhile and other leftovers.
• Didn’t take as much time for me this week
• Had a few pieces of taffy. I love taffy.
• Didn’t make it to the gym

Goals For This Week:

• Strength training & running at the gym 3 days
• Do a 16-mile and 11-mile training walk this weekend
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 2x, walk 30 miles, yoga 2x, hike 2x, golf 1x
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month:

• Try to hike 3x mornings a week << this hasn’t happened yet
• Only drink on the weekends or for special reviews – been doing well with this one.
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day. << I’ve been doing this!!

My intention for last week was to get Answers. I don’t have any answers today. I’m feeling better, but would love to know what is wrong. I have had similar severe weight gains in the past and have taken tests and everything comes back normal. But this is getting ridiculous – it is far from normal.

My intention for this week is to find Calmness. Through all that the next week is going to bring with me teaching Lunch & Learn class on Social Media, to walking 16 miles, to just being me – I need to remember to focus on being calm. Breathing. Meditating. Allowing peace and joy to find me.

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Weigh-In Wednesday: 21 lbs & Toxic

Where do I even start? Let’s start with a vent, shall we. When anyone hears I am trying to lose weight, or my favorite, when they just look at me, and then proceed to give me unsolicited weight loss advice. If I were to listen to what everyone says, I would be dairy-free, gluten-free, soy-free, fruit-free, wine-free, Pepsi-free, and a vegan who could eat exactly 1 leaf of spinach. Seriously people. Have you noticed that everyone, and I mean everyone, has an opinion as to why people are overweight? For me personally, it’s like I am constantly having to discuss what I eat, how much I exercise, and then have to say – No, I haven’t lost weight, I’ve actually gained. Oh, that must be muscle then. ARGH. No, I am not gaining muscle – can’t you see the sheer amount of fluid in my face, or how swollen my ankles are, even my arms are completely swollen all of the time.

This past Sunday, my massage therapist of over 10 years came over to give me a massage. As she started working on my back, she asked how much weight I had gained. She then said she could tell immediately something was wrong with me because she could physically push liquid up my back underneath my skin. Kind of gross actually. Then I saw my ex-husband on Tuesday and he asked right away what was wrong with me too. One good thing about writing Weigh-In Wednesday, is that I can go back and see how much I have weighed over the last year. I was astonished when I did the math… I have gained 21 pounds over the last couple of months. That is not normal.

When you look at all I have done over the last few months, gaining 21 pounds seems just out right crazy. I did a 40-day yoga challenge, training for the Breast Cancer 3-Day, hiking and going to the gym a few times a week, stopped drinking soda for 30 days, and also limited my alcohol intake. I’m eating healthy, I’m exercising 3-5x a week, I’m not an overeater, and am gaining weight. Frustrated, scared, freaked out are just a few of the adjectives going on in my mind.

Decided to go see a naturopath and see if she had any ideas as to what was going on with me. It’s not good when the moment she saw me she said I looked awful. According to her scale, I had gained 31 pounds since Jan 1st. OMG. OMG. OMG. I told her all that I have been doing right and wrong, my allergies to soy and now how spicy food is making me break out in hives. She wonders if I might be toxic. What the hell does that mean? Basically, there is something in my environment or that I am ingesting that I am allergic too and my liver is having a hard time processing it. And no it’s not gluten. The other possibility is that my liver or kidneys aren’t working correctly.

When I came home last night all I could hear over and over in my head is – You Are Toxic. Toxic! I am starting a detox program for a week and going back on a water pill to try and release some of this water weight. I’m honestly worried.

Weight Loss

Gained: .05 lbs

What I Did Right This Week:

• Still doing the no soda thing, but did have a sip over the weekend.
• Ate fresh fruits & veggies – including 2 cups of spinach per day, apples, blueberries, green beans, and Brussels sprouts
• Eating lean proteins such as chicken & turkey
• Worked out at the gym 2x
• Went on an 6-mile & 4-mile training walk, ran 1 mile
• Went hiking 2x
• Did at-home yoga
• Drank a lot of water
• Made my green shake 4x
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Had a slice of pizza
• Had a half of a cookie
• Weird, can’t think of anything else

Goals For This Week:

• Strength training & running at the gym 3 days
• Do a 17-mile and 11-mile training walk this weekend
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 3x, walk 30 miles, yoga 2x, hike 2x, golf 1x
• Keep my house clean
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month: (this is new!)

• Try to hike 3x mornings a week
• Only drink on the weekends or for special reviews – been doing well with this one.
• Eat 2 cups of spinach a day.

My intention for last week was Goals. I didn’t do this one, so I am going to list it again: I need to write out my 4th quarter personal and business goals and create the path to achieve them. One of my personal goals is to lose 30 pounds before Christmas. I hope this happens, even though I am aware that it hasn’t happened yet. Another goal is to hike every week in a new location experiencing all that Arizona’s wildlife has to offer. Professionally, I want to increase my speaking engagements to at least twice a month. I am writing these goals down. I will accomplish them!

My intention for this week is to get Answers. I need answers. I’m not sure if I can get them in one week, but I sure would like them. Not just health answers, but answers to a few lingering issues I have. Let’s see if I can figure some stuff out.

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Weigh-In Wednesday: Better.

I have to get something off of my chest. I had exactly 1 cup of Pepsi on Monday. I even measured it out, and enjoyed each sip of it like it was Bourbon. I poured out the rest of the can though so I wouldn’t be tempted to drink it. I was having a tough Monday morning and I *craved* my favorite comfort drink. I couldn’t stay away. I know that counts against me, but today is 30 days without soda  except for 1 cup. That’s good right? Or did I blow the whole month? I am going to go with that this was an awesome achievement for me that I am very proud of. You can judge the 1 cup as a failure or the 30 days as a success. Your choice.

I have made it into the gym a few times this week and did a good 8-mile walk with @aclevergirl over the weekend. When I went to the gym last night I had some serious frustration to work off. I had been running intervals on the treadmill at a faster pace than I had ever done. I couldn’t run as long at the faster pace, but I felt like all I wanted to do was run faster and faster to rid the frustrating thoughts and feelings out of my body. When I hit a mile I started walking to regain my breath. This was the first time in all the times I have been on the treadmill that I wasn’t really there mentally. Meaning I hadn’t really looked at the time, the miles, nothing… my brain was so focused on my thoughts that the world slipped away and all I did was run. I don’t even remember lowering the speed when my heart rate went too high, although I know I did. What a crazy out of body run that was!

Click on the pic to see @aclevergirl’s website and learn about SMA and how you can become involved.

For years my friends have always asked me to go golfing. On our 8-mile training walk, we walk adjacent to a golf course. My friend @aclevergirl is an avid golfer and kind of got me into the mindset that maybe I needed to try my hand at this sport. I have great hand-eye coordination and swing the hell out of a bat… so golf should be easy, right? She found me some golf clubs that were pretty inexpensive on Craigslist. So now I have clubs (still in the box) and I am ready to try this out. I know a lot of work (and a lot of drinking) is done on the golf course – so bring it on!

So I am not as dejected as I was last week, but I am still not fully comfortable about my weight. I really need to lose at least 20 pounds to fit into my fall wardrobe. It is scary to think about how much weight I have gained since I started Weigh-In Wednesday. I know a good part of it is because I am no longer on the prescription water pill, thinking seriously about going back on it. It’s hard for me to imagine that I am more active than I was 6 months ago, eating much healthier, curbing my alcohol and soda intake and still gaining weight. The weight gain has really affected my psyche too – I can tell I’m more depressed and have canceled plans because I just don’t want people to see me and whisper behind my back about how I look.

Weight Loss

Lost 1.5 lbs  – Better.

What I Did Right This Week:

• No soda for 30 days!
• Ate fresh fruits & veggies – including 2 cups of spinach per day, apples, blueberries, green beans, and Brussels sprouts
• Eating lean proteins such as chicken, turkey, and fish
• Worked out at the gym 3x
• Went on an 8-mile training walk
• Did at-home yoga
• Drank a lot of water
• Made my green shake 3x
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Had a small movie popcorn
• Had 1 cup of Pepsi
• Didn’t walk more than one day
• Let my kitchen & living room get messy again

Goals For This Week:

• Strength training & running at the gym 3 days
• Do an 17-mile and 11-mile training walk this weekend
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 3x, walk 30 miles, yoga 2x
• Keep my house clean
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month: (this is new!)

• No Pepsi!
• Only drink wine on the weekends or for special reviews – been doing well with this one.
• Daily intake of sugar: 25g. I am looking at all the ingredients list and trying this, but I am not hard core.

My intention for last week was Not Care. Yeah this didn’t happened. Surprise, surprise. I hope one day to be able to master this, but this was not the week. I do find when I go technology free for the most part of the weekend, I come back on Mondays recharged. I need to make sure and schedule time to be outside in nature every week – this is my sanity, it makes me come back into balance, and to reset my mind on what really matters in life and not on the minutia.

My intention for this week is to write out my Goals. I need to write out my 4th quarter personal and business goals and create the path to achieve them. One of my personal goals is to lose 30 pounds before Christmas. I hope this happens, even though I am aware that it hasn’t happened yet. Another goal is to hike every week in a new location experiencing all that Arizona’s wildlife has to offer. Professionally, I want to increase my speaking engagements to at least twice a month. I am writing these goals down. I will accomplish them!

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Weigh-in Wednesday: Dejected

I have gone almost 3 weeks without any Pepsi and have gained another 2 pounds! I’m just dejected. I’ve been hiking, walking, strength training, and eating fresh fruit and vegetables and I have freaking gained weight? Seriously? Maybe I am destined to be overweight my whole life. Some of my guy friends post their weight on Facebook and sometimes I sit in shock, thinking, oh hells no – I weigh the same as this man? All I want to do is cry. It makes me extremely dejected and deflated. I’m at my wits end. I just don’t care anymore. What is the point? I cut out my bff Pepsi and I gained 3 pounds over the last 3 weeks! I have stopped drinking so much wine and have limited going out to restaurants (Restaurant Week is an exception). I have even stopped drinking beer on Monday Night Football so I can keep with trying not to drink during the week – now that’s just blasphemy!

I watched The Biggest Loser last night and was moved again by these people’s stories and how much they can lose in one week. Is that what I have to do – workout for 4 hours a day to lose a pound? When I walk it is for minimally 3 hours and over a 1,000 calorie burn. I go hiking for 2 hours and burn almost 700 calories. Each time at the gym is about 400 calories, yoga is around 300. So if I am expending all these calories, drinking tons of water,  and eating turkey, fresh veggies and seasonal fruit – what the hell am I doing wrong?

Trying my hand at dating again and I just can’t muster up the energy. Again, what’s the point? So I can go on a date with a guy and for him to take one look at me and immediately dismiss me because of my weight? No thanks. Would rather be single. I have a lot to offer and would love to find a partner to share my life with, but I also don’t want to be rejected before even given the chance.

I’m at a loss. Dejected. Done.

Weight Gain

Gained 2 lbs – Just shoot me now.

What I Did Right This Week:

• No soda for 21 days!
• Ate a lot of fresh fruits & veggies
• Worked out at the gym 2x
• Went on an 8-mile training walk
• Went on a 2-mile hike
• Drank a lot of water
• Donated blood!
• Meditated each morning

What I Did Wrong This Week:

• Had a small movie popcorn
• Let some of my veggies go bad in the fridge – I buy way too much.
• Lost hope.
• Having some crazy awful nightmares lately.

Goals For This Week:

• Strength training & running at the gym 3 days
• Do an 8-mile and 11-mile training walk this weekend
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 3x, walk 19 miles, yoga 2x
• My house became messy again on Monday and yes, my mind is a tad jumbled up.  Juggling a lot right now.
• Meditate every morning

Goals For This Month: (this is new!)

• No Pepsi!
• Only drink wine on the weekends or for special reviews – been doing well with this one.
• Daily intake of sugar: 25g. I am looking at all the ingredients list and trying this, but I am not hard core.

My intention for last week was to Finish. I was able to get through the majority of all of those emails last week, still a few that need to be followed up on. I can never let my inbox get that out of control again! I spent one morning just unsubscribing from people’s emails that no longer pertained to me. Purging felt good. Sometimes you just need to hit the Reset button.

My intention for this week is to Not Care. That’s right – I said it. I need some time and space to not care. I worry about everything and everyone all the time. My brain needs some time to just relax, breathe, and not care. Be free. Find my happy place. Call it home.

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