Weigh-in Wednesday: Forgiveness

06/15/2011

I forgive my body. I forgive it for holding water for days. I forgive it for battling edema on a daily basis. I forgive it for not being perfect. That is a strong statement that I am still trying to wrap my head around. I’ve always known my mind is far from perfect, but to acknowledge that my body isn’t, hasn’t ever really crossed my mind. I always thought you are dealt certain genes and these genes determine if you are thin or fat, have a great metabolism or if you even look at chocolate cake you can gain 5 pounds. I was asked the other day what I felt my best physical features were – that’s easy – my eyes, my lips, and my DDs. Yes I just said that. I’ve always said I am great from my the boobs up. I’ve never liked my legs as I can’t even buy those designer calf boots in the winter that everyone wears because my calves are so huge. Sigh. As an athlete growing up, I have always had extremely muscular legs, especially my calves. Don’t even get me started on what I don’t like about my stomach!

In the last 2 weeks I have gained 7 pounds. 7 pounds!! This past week I gained 6 pounds alone and have lost 4 of those the last few days – but that is still a +2 for the week. I went back to tracking what I eat on a daily basis, am drinking unsweetened tea instead of Pepsi, and have only had 3 glasses of wine in a week. Lots of fresh fruits and veggies, lean proteins, and went hiking a few times. To me, that sounds pretty healthy. So what is my body trying to tell me with this weight gain? I’m actually scared to hike anymore because I don’t want to gain any more water. Might just try going to the gym this week instead. I still have to train for the 3-Day with some training walks, but oy vey, I can’t handle putting on another pound of water weight.

I’m also very happy right now. I planted a container garden this weekend where I planted squash, melons, pumpkins, and tons of tomatoes. I’m dating someone who seems to get me. In one day, he made me breakfast, we planted a vegetable and herb garden together, went to Chipotle for lunch (yummy Carnitas Salad!), walked around Costco, (all my favorite things to do in one day!) and just truly enjoyed being with each other. He doesn’t care if my hair is in a ponytail and there isn’t an ounce of makeup in sight. Today he even left work on his lunch hour to take care of the little wasp issue that was leaving me in a panic attack. Yep, I’m happy.

Weight Loss:

Gained 2 pounds

What I Did Right This Week:

What I Did Wrong This Week:

Goals For This Week:

• Cook at home 4x and make healthy meals on Sunday – love doing this!
• Write down my food intake everyday
• Be in the moment when I eat and workout
• Workout 2x, hike 4x, walk 15 miles
• Meditate every morning

This week I kept dreaming about forgiveness. It was weird actually. My dreams showed me friends and family who needed me to forgive them so that I could move on. It was kind of surreal. So this week instead of practicing Persistence, I practiced Forgiveness. I forgave those who spoke ill of me, I forgave those that may have slighted me in the past, I forgave my family for not always knowing what I needed. I also forgave myself. I forgave myself for not always saying the right thing, for acting the way others think I should, I also forgave myself for just being me. I have always walked to a different drummer and most of the time that is a good thing, in other situations, it has caused issues. And I forgive myself for this. I accept the negative parts of me and have realized they make me who I am – we all have positive and negative attributes and none of us are perfect. We have to accept each other for who we are, not for who we want others to be. This is huge if you really think about.

My intention for last week was to Persistence. I keep trying – I’m eating right, working out, taking my vitamins, reduced my soda and alcohol consumption. I will keep doing the right things and have faith that the weight will come off.

My intention for this week is Forgiveness. I don’t think I am done with this one yet. I was still dreaming about it last night. When you forgive and let go, you allow yourself the chance to breathe and dream again. I cannot be everything to everyone, and I am not going to try anymore. Forgive. Let go. Move on.

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Organic Insecticide Soap

Organic Insecticide Soap

Aphids sucking the life out of your beautiful roses? Whiteflies hanging around your beloved tomatoes. Don’t want toxic insect killers around your family and pets? Make your own Organic Insecticide Soap with materials right in your own kitchen!

Ingredients:

• 1 Tbsp Olive or Vegetable Oil
• 1 Tbsp Blue Dish Washing Liquid (no citrus)
• 1 Tbsp Cayenne Pepper
• 1 Garlic Clove, crushed

Mix all of the above ingredients together in a large water bottle and fill the rest of the bottle with water. Shake vigoursly. Apply this mixture to the top and bottom of the leaves of the plant. If you have an aphid or white fly problem, do this every 3-4 days until all the eggs have been killed. Spray the dirt around the plant to prevent any eggs from hatching.

If it rains, reapply this insectide soap when the weather clears up.

This insecticide soap should assist you with the removal of mites, whiteflies, aphids, thrips, and leaf-hoppers. This recipe has a very low toxicity to wildlife and humans but should not be applied on a sizzling hot day, windy, or humid. It is best to apply first thing in the morning or after the sun has set.

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